March 7th, 20XX:
I did it, I finally did it. It has taken months, but I finally made it back home. It’s been years since I had last been here, but an odd sense of catharsis washes over me at this moment. That feeling a familiarity after such a harrowing few months was a welcomed feeling. Like a breath of fresh air after passing by a garbage dump, and yet…I couldn’t help but feel like there was a new, more unpleasant scent around it.
Like nearly everything else in the world, the city is in ruin. The many tall buildings that had always towered over me as a child have been reduced to pitiful mounds of rubble that filled the once busy streets and overpasses. The ones that haven’t been completely destroyed were on the brink of collapse, appearing as if a strong breeze would knock them over. The only colors that came from this dreary scene were the dulled tones of the numerous cars that lay abandoned.
Unfortunately, this sight was commonplace since the Disaster, however even with that numbing reality, this was different. Seeing a once familiar landscape I had grown up in reduced to lifelessness cements this new reality in my mind, no matter how surreal it feels.
It reinforces that this harsh change that has transpired is truly real. That everything has changed forever, and that there is no going back. I guess, part of me had always been hoping that this was all just a bad dream. That I would wake up the next day and I would be back in our apartment. The sound of cooing pigeons and speeding cars filling my ears as sunlight tickled my still shut eyes. That, when I awoke, you would still be there by my side…
No, now’s not the time for that. I can think about the past when we’re together again. The locket around my neck feels so heavy. That small lump of metal shaped like a battered heart. The first gift you’d ever given me. I can’t help but reach for it even now for some form of comfort. I dare not open it, however. Its broken frame would immediately release the precious treasure inside and, as much as I want to gaze upon the picture inside, to see your smile again, I can’t risk losing it. Besides, the real thing would be all the sweeter.
I am not sure how long I have been standing here at the edge of my ruined city, lost thought, but I have to keep moving. I have come so far, been through so much, I can’t give up now. Not when I am so close to reaching you. I am on my way, my love.
March 10th, 20XX:
I have been walking for a while now. It has taken a full two days just to get to what was once downtown. I never knew how much I took driving for granted until I had to walk everywhere. Most of the day before had been spent just climbing over the mountains of rubble that plague the city. The rest of the day I spent hiding away from every unexplained sound that cut through the dead silence of the equally dead city. I wasn’t sure if anyone, or anything for that matter, is here, but I don’t want to risk it. There have been far too many rumors of strange creatures prowling the ruined cities for me to be careless now.
That aside, I am almost there now. Our spot is practically around the corner, but with each step, it feels like I am taking ten. Seeing everything I had once known changed and warped to a nearly unrecognizable degree is…painful to say the least. You remember Punely’s, right? That little diner I took you to on our first date because I couldn’t afford anywhere else? I still remember how greasy those burgers were, but you thought it was so sweet that I took you there and we made a point to go back every year since then. Looking at it now, the roof has fallen through, the windows are all boarded up, and the sign is missing several letters.
I passed by a playground on the way too. It was strangely undamaged compared to the rest of the city. It had the standard swing sets and slides, but it also had a small merry-go-round and one of those little ziplines that we used to play on as kids. I remember us making a game out of how far we could fling ourselves off of those things. I could never beat your record back then. I guess there not much use for playgrounds nowadays. Those that have not been destroyed are lost to time and nature with all of their equipment either broken or so consumed by the weeds and ivy.
It has hard to believe that a few earthquakes and storms have changed so much of our city. City hall? Gone. Amaryllis Community Pool? Filled with sediment and rubble. Our old high school? Not even speck of it remains. That ugly statue of the city’s founder? Still there surprisingly enough, but that doesn’t soothe the pain I feel every time I look around this place.
It was like the worst form of walking down memory lane. Everything was so familiar yet so very different. The whole world was. How the hell are we supposed to come back from this? How can things ever be normal again?
…
…
Sorry, I went on a tangent there. I can’t let myself get distracted. These thoughts that have been plaguing me since the Disaster but won’t matter when I see you again. When I see you again, everything will be okay again. Everything will be back to normal. I know it!
I can hear those sounds again, much closer this time. I need to hide. I don’t want to be out at night, so I’ll hunker down until the morning. If everything goes well, I’ll see you again before noon tomorrow. I can’t wait.
March 11th, 20XX:
You remember this place, right? Why it is so important? Why I wanted this to the place where we’d meet up if anything happened? That little park with that sakura tree, the only one for miles? It’s where you found me hiding out when my mom died.
You sat down next to me and just hugged me, letting me cry my eyes out. You told me that, if anything went wrong, if I felt like the world had gone to shit, you’d always find me there. So, why…after the world has gone to hell…why aren’t you here?
Why aren’t you here?
Why aren’t you here?
Why aren’t you here?!
WHY AREN’T YOU HERE?!
…
…
I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I thought I’d gotten it all out of my system before I started writing again. I guess I’m still a little…distraught. I was just so focused on getting here that I never even considered what I would do if you were not here.
After we got separated during the Disaster, my only focus was finding you again. Everything else took back seat. I saw that the world was different, but I was convinced, no…I was certain that everything would go back to normal when I found you. Wishful thinking, huh? No, more like delusional really. Though, I guess it really doesn’t matter what I thought before. I am here and you are not.
I was desperate when I saw you weren’t here that I opened my locket. I wanted to see your face once more, but I hardly got a single glance before it fell from its frame and was caught by the wind. I tried to catch it, I swear I did, but it got away from me. I lost it. I lost my last link to you. Now I’m all alone with nothing but an empty locket!
…
…
I can’t stay here. I’m sure whatever’s been making those sounds heard my outburst from earlier and, as much as I want to just lay here and give up, I know that you wouldn’t want that. You would insist that I keep going, but…I don’t want to.
I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to move on into a new life. I want to go back to our life before the Disaster. I want to go back to our old city. To our old apartment. I just want to go back to the way things were!
…
…
I guess this is it…
I need to go. I can hear those sounds again. They’re getting closer. I don’t know what they are, but…I’m scared. I’m scared here without you. Please…
…
…
I’m leaving this journal here on the slim chance you’re still out there. I know it’s wishful thinking, but…I need something, anything, to hold on to. I’m heading south. There were a few signs that I passed that there were safe areas down that way. If I’m lucky, I’ll see you there. Heh. Wishful thinking again. I’m not sure how far I’ll make it, but I’ll try. For you.
I’m also going to leave my locket. I can’t…I can’t bear to look at it anymore. It’s just too painful. So, I’m leaving it here with the journal. If you do come by, know my heart belongs to you. Now and forever. Goodbye, my love. With luck, we’ll see each other again.
Works Of Fiction by D.J. Adams 