A Dark Place

When I opened my eyes, everything was black.  Not the all-consuming, no-light-can-escape black, but an inky blackness that seemed to stain everything it touched.  I could see, but only just.  I was on my back, my arms and legs pinned underneath something.  I tried to move my head to see what it was, but my head felt fixed.  Like something was gripping it.

My heart began to pound in my chest; the deep-seeded fear of confinement that resided within all humans beginning to bubble to the surface.  I shut my eyes and forced myself to do the breathing exercise my middle school counselor taught me four years ago.

In, two, three.  Out, two, three.  In, two, three.  Out, two, three.

Slowly, my heart rate decreased to a more manageable level.  That’s good.  I didn’t fall into a full-blown panic attack. 

Opening my eyes, I took a closer look at my surroundings.  For one thing, the walls around me, for lack of a better word, appeared to be melting.  Globs of some kind of thick, black, oily substance dripped down the walls, stemming from a seemingly endless void, and pooled on the ground I was laying on.  A cold shiver ran up and down my body as revulsion kicked in as I finally felt the cold, thick tar that was caked around my body.  The smell was even worse.  Like a thick antiseptic cloud mixed with the heavy stench of blood.  An odd and incredibly sickening combination.

Swallowing the bile in my throat, I forced myself to ignore the smell and continue to observe my surroundings.  As I first noticed, I was surrounded by strangely dripping walls, each infinitely tall and stretching into the dark void above.  However, I wasn’t trapped.  Straight ahead there was a path.  The only path and it seemed to span just as infinitely as the ‘ceiling’.

            Confusion more than any other emotion settled in my mind, and maybe a little fear, but it was all…subdued.  It was oddly sudden, especially considering I had been on the verge of a panic attack just a few seconds ago.  It was like there was a cloth or something over the part of my brain that dealt with emotion.  I was lethargic, but not sleepy.  Like I had just run a marathon, physically exhausted but too wired to actually sleep.  I tried to think of how I ended up in this strange place, in this state, but everything was hazy. 

            A sudden stab of pain lanced through my head, causing me to shut my eyes and attempt to bring up my hands in a futile attempt to stifle the feeling, but the sludge kept them in place.  I vaguely noted a dull throb in my arms at the action, but I paid it no mind.  The pain was too intense to think of anything else.  It was too much.  I just wanted it all to end.

A blaring beep then invaded my senses.  The shrill tone resonated like an explosion across the area, sending ripples down the tar-caked walls and floor.  Each tone struck my head like a sledgehammer, adding to the already unbearable pain.  Eventually, the noise lessened.  It was still there, but it was no longer the deafening explosions that it had been.  It was more like an obnoxious ringing in my ear than anything else.  The pain in my head too diminished, becoming a more manageable pounding sensation.  I sighed in relief and opened my eyes.  The odd sense of artificial calm once more enveloped my mind having been torn away when the pain started.  

Even with my brain mentally numb, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of unease shift over me.  I wasn’t sure why but couldn’t stay where I was.  I couldn’t explain it, but something in me was telling me to get out.

            I shakily got to my feet and tried to walk forward, only to almost fall flat on my face.  Looking down, I saw that the inky substance that was pooling onto the ground was clinging to me.  Slightly unnerved, I tore my foot free.  Replacing it onto the ground, I watched as my foot sunk in easily, the muck giving no resistance, but when I tried to pull it out again, it clung to me.

            Well…that made things a bit more challenging.  

            Slowly, I began to make my way forward, the muck-like substance clinging to my feet with each step.  I tried to ignore the gunk the best I could, but felt so weird, especially on my feet, which were bare.  It was like walking through Jell-O.  Very cold and very thick Jell-O.  Whatever the stuff was, it was unlike anything I have ever encountered.

            Despite this, I pressed on.  Again, trying to think of how I ended up in this kind of situation, but my mind was still too sluggish to recall much of anything.  I could vaguely recall sirens, a lot of people shouting, and a lot of red, but did it all mean?  Was I kidnapped?  Was I dreaming?  Did I fall into a portal to another dimension?  No, that’s stupid.  Now’s not the time for your crazy Sci-Fi theories, Pete.  I needed to get out of this place!

            It felt like it had been walking for miles, but it was impossible to tell.  The path I was following was straight.  There were no turns, no inclines, just a singular straight line that led into more darkness.  There were times where I wondered if I was even moving.  It was all so suffocating, but I couldn’t stop.  I had to reach the end.

            If there was one.

No sooner as this thought crossed my mind, my salvation came to me in the form of a bright light appearing ahead of me.  It felt warm and inviting.  It beckoned me towards it, offering me safety.  With the premise of an escape so close, I found my pace quickening.

I felt the sludge loosen its grip the closer I got to the light, the warmth doubling in intensity.  Before I knew it, the walls fell away, leaving me in an open space.  However, despite the openness of the area, it still felt suffocating.  The same unending blackness from the tunnel now surrounded me like a void.  There were no visible walls, but there was still gunk on the ground.  I was still trapped, but I wasn’t worried.

The warm glow from before was floating directly overhead, casting a halo of light down on me.  I closed my eyes in contentment, allowing the light to warm me up from the cold that had followed me.  The fog around my mind fell away and for the first time since waking up, I felt at peace.

“You are loved.”

A voice spoke, seemingly coming from the light itself.  It was soft and distinctly feminine and just as warm as the light itself.  It was also familiar.

“You don’t have to worry, it will all work out.”

“You’re not alone.  You have people who love you, so please, come back.”

The last one triggered something in me.  I felt guilty, like I had failed the speaker.  I opened my eyes and reached out for the light, wanting to give the speaker some sort of comfort, but I couldn’t reach it.  As I continued to reach out, I didn’t notice the ground start to bubble until the other voices started.

“…You’ll never be as good enough…”

“…You’re nothing…”

A sudden chill ran down my spine.  All at once, the warmth left me, the light diminishing.  The voice…I recognized it, the cold unforgiving tone.  The condescending and disgusting attitude.  Yes, I knew it well.

It was mine.

My gaze was pulled from the light to the inky ground around me and I watched in horror as something began to pull its way out.  It was small, hardly two feet in height and looked like it was made out of the same dark muck as the ground.  Two curled horns protruded from the sides of its head, and it had three razor-sharp claws on either hand.  It was completely black, save for its claws, which were a blood red color.

The creature raised its head and looked at me.  Its face was completely blank, devoid of any eyes, mouth, or nose, but I could still feel its gaze.  It suddenly lunged at me, its claws sinking into my wrist and pulling me down it its level.  A tear began to appear on the creature’s lower face, opening into a wide, dripping maw.

“…You’re nothing…”

As if a switch had been flipped, I lashed out at the creature with my free arm, my fist tearing through the creature’s mud-like head with startling ease.  It let go, stumbling back with a gaping hole in its head.  Not a second later, the hole resealed and it seemed to glare.

“…Pathetic…”

To my rising horror, hundreds, maybe even thousands of the creatures began to pull themselves from the bubbling muck from all sides, the voices echoing. 

There was nowhere to go.  Nowhere except to the light.

I tried to stretch towards it, but the sludge just gripped my feet tighter and began to pull me down.  I had sunk to my thighs in a matter of seconds.

Around, me the creatures closed in, their poisonous words taking the last of my warmth.

“…How do you expect to make something of yourself when you’re this pathetic…?”

“…Who could ever care about someone like you…?”

“…You don’t deserve to live…”

I desperately reached towards the light, even as the gunk pulled at me.  Some part of me knew that, if I could just touch the light, I would be saved.

But I couldn’t do it. 

The pull of the sludge was too much. 

I cried out as one of the creatures jumped on my back, its claws digging into my flesh.  I tried to throw the thing off of me, but its claws were in too deep.  Soon all of the creatures lunged, their claws sinking into my hooks, pulling me down into the dark muck. 

The beeping intensified, each tone rivalling that of a clap of thunder.  It seemed faster than before—no, it was faster than before.  Much faster, and it was getting faster the more I struggled.

I was up to my neck in a matter of seconds, only my head and one of my arms was free from the sludge.  The light flashed frantically as if it were trying to get my attention.  The voice was speaking again, but I couldn’t hear it over the cacophony of the other voice.

“…You’re just making life harder on everyone else…”

“…No one would miss you if you were gone…”

I cried out again as red claws suddenly shot up and grabbed my wrists, the sharp razors dragging down the length of my arm, leaving long lines that flowed with crimson liquid.  It hurt.  It hurt so much.  I just wanted it all to stop.

“…You should just end it now…”

The last thing I heard before my head went under was the light voice shouting to someone as the beeping became one long, singular tone.

“Wake up!”

Through the sludge, a bright light flashed cut through the muck, the soothing warmth now a burning inferno that tore through the sludge and the creatures holding me.  The claws holding me fell away, their wielders screeching in anger as they were forced to retreat.

I gasped and coughed violently, several globs of the gunk spilling out of my mouth.  I was tired, dead tired.  I no longer had the strength to get to my feet.  The ground underneath me shifted and undulated like a waterbed.  I could still hear the voice underneath me, the creatures most likely hiding below, but they were muffled and didn’t seem to be getting closer.  Above me, the light shined brightly above me, pulsing with warmth.

“Please, come back to me.”

I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn’t even lift a finger.  All I could do was stare helplessly up at the light, basking in its warmth, doing my best to ignore the whispers from underneath, and listening to the soft, almost soothing, beeping that filled the dark space around him.

[Beep-Beep-Beep]

            The monotonous beeping a heartrate monitor filled the room as an older woman sat at the bedside of an unconscious teen, clutching his hand.  The woman, that looked quite similar to the teen in the bed, carefully reached out and brushing a strand of hair out of his face. 

            “Oh, Peter,” she whispered, her voice thick with anguish and pain.  “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were hurting so much?”

            The door to the room opened, a tall man in blue scrubs entering.  The woman turned to face the man who entered.  “Doctor Strauss.”

            “Mrs. Galer,” the doctor acknowledged, glancing down at his clipboard.  “As you know, young Peter was admitted here four days ago for an attempted suicide.  He suffered from severe blood loss, due to four, deep lacerations on his wrists and was given a blood transfusion.  Even after this, it was touch and go and we did lose him during the process.  He hasn’t regained consciousness since.”

            As the doctor spoke, the woman couldn’t help but glance at the boy’s bandaged wrists, choking back a sob when she heard how close she was to losing him.  “Will he recover?”

            Doctor Strauss didn’t answer for a while.  “It is unclear,” he said.  “Physically, he is fine, but mentally…that’s another story.  When and if he wakes up, he will need therapy to get him through this event.”

            Mrs. Galer nodded in understanding, turning her attention back towards the teen.  To her child.  “Please, baby.  Wake up.  You are loved so much, so please, come back to me.”

            The teen gave no response.  The only sound that that could be heard was the heartrate monitor.